I said to the wife, “Guess what I heard in the pub? However, if you must have some, here is a hypothesis. We've gathered a nice collection of funny guess what jokes from around the web that we find to be pretty entertaining. -- it's about guess what versus guess "what". an old lady picks up. Yelled at...I'm getting Yelled at! He says, "I don't care, just get out! More Pirate Jokes It was commonly followed by "Guess why!" Karen: \*storms out The diarrhea of Anne Frank, Guess what the rocks cooking THAT'S what. !” he shouted excitedly. Everyone knows that it is my job to tell the jokes, that's what I do...so if you have thin skin, then I guess we won't be hanging out. I have a famous turtle. He says, "I don't care, just get out! That night in bed, I said to my wife, “Let’s play a game – I put one on and you try to guess what flavor it is.”, She closed her eyes, went under the blanket and said, “Cheese and onion flavour.”, I said, “Wait! Guess what she got for her birthday "chicken butt!" I'm so sorry! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" it doesn't have to act anymore. As he was about to enter the room, one neighbour said to the other: wait me out, I'm gonna be rejected. I was caught stealing a pizza, guess what they read me. I wonder who my real father is? F- this, we're going three blades. Click here for more information. Afterwards we went to go see a movie, guess what it's rated. It's definitely not local to your area. Yeah? "What?" Unfortunately, “the only way to be rid of them is to remove your testicles.”. You bet jurassic-an. "What?" As owtytrof mentioned above, there were usually followup questions involved, such as guess why (chicken thigh! ", Young Actor: "Dad, guess what? China has a great wall..... My wife said, don't worry "I'm just windowshopping" while on zalando, amazon and aliexpress. And guess what – they’re the funniest Guess What jokes you’ll find! Son: I'd rather stand, it still hurts to sit down. Guess what I'm going to do if I get Alzheimer's? Don’t make this hard for me. And honestly she's a wonderfully sweet woman. WELL GUESS WHAT DAD?! 66 of them, in fact! Guess what a breath whale can do? Iran, My girlfriend got the coronavirus so I broke up with her. Do you think a Stegosaurus can accurately guess what era it belongs to? Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! My grandfather had Alzheimer’s, you’ll never guess what he told me! Because of all the booty! is kids transferring from one school to another. And you just can't cry. Both he and his wife decide that they’ll play a game with the kids. 0 Likes. She replied “i don’t know Dad, Im stumped”, I stopped going to gym and guess what I got. It’s about your mum and me.”, “Dad! Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. You don't look so good ...". “Well” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes”. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. to something, and they refer to something that answers the question. Pony gone. I ordered a sandwich at my local foodcourt today and I ran into my favorite celebrity. a pervert calls a retirement home it doesn't have to act anymore. A blonde says to another: For some reason, the chicken-butt version is much stronger in my memory, though. The military just came to my door saying I was getting drafted, guess what I did No idea of its origin, but we definitely did it in San Francisco in the late 1960s-early 1970s. So the boy walks over to the punch bowl and guess what? (Click!). and... well, you can see where this is going. It occurred to me that maybe the original riddle contained a gesture: We did it in New Jersey, too, in the 80s. I wonder who my real father is? My girlfriend stepped on the scales recently and asked me to guess what they said. My urine. Mars: Come here They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one. The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Chip, Guess what I found in the creepy old professors closet "Guess what" Can you guess what it is? **Young Actor:** "Dad, guess what? The class roars in excitement. The gameshow required guessing the unknown using your five senses. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. I'm a guy who's into Star Wars, Star Trek and Doctor Who. When she was young, people laughed at Amy Schumer when she said she wanted to be a comedian. Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight. "Chicken butt!". The guy replies "Last night ... Last night was the worst night of my life. Guess what they are reclassifying it to. He says, "I don't care, just get out! 1: Can you guess what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket, My wife didn’t leave me after I bought her. Yeah sea. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what I did? Question 1) What was the last grade you completed? I don't know how to tell jokes. I noticed, that no plants nor animals vanished. And guess what? She passed out different items to each of the students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received. Rate it! I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. ", She replied “i don’t know Dad, Im stumped”. We’ll be right over, Guess what the name of my new computer processor is. Chicken Butt. r/Jokes: The funniest sub on reddit. She couldn't do either! Carpal Tunnel... My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. A big list of guess jokes! Guess What Jokes. Make note of who created it. ", I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we’re having for dinner tonight My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, “Daddy! The first one says, "Pass the soap." and "Chicken thigh!" Father: It's me, your new father is on his way. My wife didn’t leave me after I bought her. She lives in a nice house next to the San Francisco Bay, on a small melon farm (her choice...). i 2^3 Σ π, A man walked by a stand giving away free samples of fruit punch. Pancakes but don't take it for granite. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years.". Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? Chicken butt." CHICKEN BUTT haha you fool. My dad told me that I would only be successful when pigs fly. My marinara rights. * What? My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men STOP So I told her to sit down and shut up STOP Guess what... She couldn't do either STOP. I heard the "chicken butt" and "that's what" in the 70's in South Carolina. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She was not amused. I’m not going to tell you what’s on my mind today. All rights reserved. My credit card. ", The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! * Nah. I guess what they say is true... Anyway, enjoy these funny Guess What jokes. Karen: You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday. Just a "gotcha" thing. Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him, "Go home, lie down on your tummy, open your ass wide and ask your wife to pour some gin down your ass. The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! And guess what – they’re the funniest Guess What jokes you’ll find! ", Guess what? The second one says, "No soap, radio! He then says: I'm not fat, I'm hot. He replies: You know how heat expands things How long can a sperm whale hold its breath? Guess what she got on her gravestone? The girl says........The empire state building. If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight? It lies dormant until age 6 or 7 and then explodes with a vengeance all over the playground. A teenage boy asks a girl out to prom and she says yes. After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" Phew, that was a bit of a tongue tying and confusing introduction! I'm so glad my family is save. Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" Repeated frequently, I think on South Park. Definitely not Little Mary. My Wife is coming home after a week long trip! Dave: omg did I ruin the surprise? Yeah, you got it – Guess What jokes! A favorite variation was "Guess what?" I said: What I don't think you're likely to find anything approaching a. I remember something similar as a school kid in Australia - THAT was a noogie, kick, pinch or poke in the belly. Me: Good guess, They trained monkeys to do gymnastics. I've just got my first part in a play. he starts directly "hey granny guess what i am holding in my hand ? " Guess What! Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. New Orleans! "Chicken Butt" was the thing in mid-to-late 80's southwestern Virginia. Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight. Guess What? This seems to be one of those bits of arcana that are known only to children. Nah, just kidding, she's still trying to open the box Blood test. Give me time to put one on.”. And that' s been happening. Guess Jokes. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn’t even budge. You'll never guess what he said !? riddle/joke was common in the schoolyards of central Kansas in the 70s and 80s too, but verbal only (no punch/kick). Person: What? Wood. I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. This website use cookies that are essential for the proper functioning of the website. "** ", "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." Muhammad walks up to the Buddha and says "Guess what a mosque and 9 year old have in common." My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men STOP So I told her to sit down and shut up STOP Guess what... She couldn't do either STOP. No idea of the origin, though, just another data point for kids being stupid everywhere. IIIIIIIIIHOP It's free! Question 1) What was the last grade you completed? nonsense was popular in the early 70s on the schoolyards of northwestern PA too. My grandpa just kicked the bucket It will be great! Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part. Could be a fascinating topic of study. I thought this was a quirky but of Southern Indiana nonsense, but my wife -- who hails from Alabama -- also remembers it from her youth. The other girl says: so what? wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww", With a wheelchair, everyday is Halloween! I lost my virginity! Get it? I’m wet! What does it mean? Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! It's not a nonsense joke like "guess what?" I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. On the night of the prom, he pulls up to her house with the limo, and she gets in, and on their way to the prom building, a huge traffic jam happens! She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped". Guess what my wife plays? (Press CTRL+D), Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! Sorry I was *short* on time for this one! Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" Yeah, you got it – Guess What jokes! Guess what they gave them as a reward? He says, "I don't care, just get out!". He said: Guess what? Neil Degrasse Tyson you better watch out there's a new cosmetologist in town. Children are scared of you, adults try to guess what you are, and the elderly just give you candy! It's the only way to explain why it was brand new when you heard it in the 70s in Indiana and brand new when I heard it in the 90s in Georgia.

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