I can only hope to be 10 percent of the mom mine was to me. Treasure what you have today, for yesterday is past. George Carlin, Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Finally, he is (very) far from being perfect. Ellen DeGeneres, My point is, life is about balance. Oscar Wilde, Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed. Stay true to yourself.

Today is all you, you will never get this day back, so give it all you got, be all you can be and have fun just being.

In order to keep my creativity alive, I just try to enjoy life to the fullest. I do have a childlike enthusiasm at times. I'm just going to go live life. Jerry Seinfeld, It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

I'm having as much fun today as I did when I made $55 a week, because it is as much fun. Lily Tomlin, Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. Friedrich Nietzsche, You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. Mitch Hedberg, I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. If you don’t do what is happening at that moment, then it’s not real. Stephen Colbert, Contrary to what people may say, there’s no upper limit on stupidity.

Ricky Gervais, My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Click to tweet. Eddie Murphy, White people can’t dance. Click to tweet. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. Robin Williams, The only weapon we have is comedy. Inspiring Growth and Success. Mark Twain, Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Stephen Colbert, Don’t be afraid to be a fool. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. Elayne Boosler, Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. When its time to have fun you'll have a lot of party friends. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Eddie Murphy, I’m sadistic. Aparna Nancherla, You’re welcome to come here, except my beds from Ikea so it’s more unstable than i am. Louis C.K.

Dave Kellett, The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school. Groucho Marx, Learn from the mistakes of others. I definitely want to contribute to that.

You can really only enjoy life when you're extremely busy.

Steve Martin Click to tweet, You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.
Polish Proverb, If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. I mean, I’m a mom. Woody Allen, Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Noise is relative to the silence preceding it. I don't trip on that much. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato. That moment at night when you're sleepy but you don't want to end the fun text conversation with your friends. I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Steven Wright Click to tweet, I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money. Jon Stewart, Religion.

Jerry Seinfeld, Behing every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Rodney Dangerfield, What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Jim Carrey, I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer. I know what you want: everything. Your email address will not be published. Ellen DeGeneres, Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. Congratulations on being even more experienced. What’s the point in having humor? Tomorrow may never come. Saying ‘yes’ is how things grow. Woodrow Wyatt, The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is “Notice anything different?

Stanley Randall. Groucho Marx, Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. Fred Allen, If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. I just want my stomach to be as flat as my ass. Bill Murray, There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. Had breakfast. My phone would ring 75 times in a row.

It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. Mae West, A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Jimmy Fallon, Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I’d have an excuse.

Laugh. Bill Vaughan, The human brain is special. Perfect is boring on live TV. Louis C.K. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. Amy Tan is best known for The Joy Luck Club, a collection of vignettes meant to show how our lives are shaped by the stories we tell. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. Sorry for being late. Ludwig Wittgenstein, Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. But the people are so cowed and disorganised. I decided to fly through the air and live in the sunlight and enjoy life as much as I could. But it’s more than that. I have nothing left to hide.

I realized that the other day inside my fort. Or did we just f*cking blow your mind!? Related Topics Mitch Hedberg, What a nice night for an evening. Maxime is a father of two and also loves running. Jimmy Fallon, ‘Have fun’ is my message. But be nice anyway. I think the world should keep laughing. It doesn’t matter what that is.
Our fun and learning never ends. Fran Lebowitz, My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Tina Fey, Say yes. Ellen DeGeneres, It’s funny how the universe guides you to where you’re meant to be. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Bill Murray, People are like music. One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, backgrounds.

Ralph Waldo Emerson. I don’t need a thinner phone. Make the most of it. ‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. It can be lovely. Epictetus, No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book. You’re really living it. Jim Carrey, The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

I want to see the struggle.

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